Commitment and Loyalty

It is difficult to teach positive character traits and values that run so counter to what is the norm in our society. But, however daunting the task may appear to us as parents and/or instructors, we cannot give up. The difficulty of character training should only serve to remind us of how crucial and necessary these lessons are.

The sad truth is that, for too many people today, commitment means very little. Promises mean very little. It is not unusual, for example, for prospective students to arrange appointments, very enthusiastically, and then never show up. It is not unusual for students to arrange practice sessions, knowing the instructor or fellow students will have to go out of their way to be there, and never show up, never call, never apologize. It is not unusual for students to commit to something, to have others depending on them, and then to change their minds, seemingly on a whim, and without explanation.

I'm not sure where the answer lies. Character lessons can only go so far. We cannot, as instructors, reach inside our students' very hearts and change their characters. A student must be willing, on some level, to have his character molded and improved.

One cannot be an instructor for very long without hearing, from other instructors, horror stories of betrayal, dishonesy, and even thievery from staff members. One would hope that, once someone reached black belt level, he would have reaped all the wonderful moral training that the martial arts are supposed to offer. Unfortunately, such is not always the case.

As instructors, we need to set an example for ethical behavior and for the values we teach. We also need to take character education seriously, at the same time realizing that we cannot achieve the miraculous. There are many competing voices and influences out there that impact our students. Commitment and loyalty are seen as old-fashioned in many instances, if they are considered at all. Parents and peers have our students far more hours than we do. Let's make our hours count, but let's not lose heart when we cannot work miracles.