Respect

At the end of class one day, I made the comment, "A black belt is just a white belt who didn't quit." Later, it came to my attention that at least one student entirely missed my point.

There are always those students who struggle with the idea of rank and with the concept of respect within the martial arts. I've even encountered a few (thankfully very, very few) students who seem to want to turn the idea of rank on its head. They expect the higher ranking students to show them unreasonable respect, to follow their wishes, to teach what and when and how the white belt demands it, and they expect the Sensei to promote them when the student wants. Such students will attempt to argue with an instructor as to whether a technique was done correctly, will claim it is disprespectful to be asked to participate fully in a class, and will often simply refuse to do what is requested of them.

Our dojo isn't overly strict. We aren't "old school". We aren't terribly formal. In fact, I often tend to think that we are too relaxed. So it surprises me when a student balks at the very concept of rank and bristles at being expected to behave respectfully towards instructors and other students. These kind of students, thankfully, are rare. But they are, for the most part, unteachable. They often have their own agenda in class, and they resent that their agenda is not given priority.

In every case, those students have been adults.

And that's where I think the difficulty lies.

In our dojo, we have family classes. We line up in every class by rank and, within rank, by age. Rank is more important than age. This is something the founder of our system established. It's a bitter pill to swallow for some adults. I know. I began training as an adult and was sometimes taught by instructors younger than some of my own children. It is an exercise in humility. That's the point. Training in humility is essential in the martial arts.

Yes, a black belt is just a white belt who didn't quit. By the same token, an adult is just a baby who has lived longer...or who was born before the younger babies. But---an adult is NOT a baby. Not any more. A black belt is NOT a white belt. Not any more. That's why we don't treat adults like babies and why we no longer treat black belts like white belts.

That's a hard concept for some students. It is hard for them to accept that, in the martial arts, respect is earned. Rank is a recognition that respect has been earned. The greater the rank, the greater the amount of respect that has been earned.

I reminded my students of these things. I reminded them of what I often say, "Practice makes permanent." As adults, we've had many more years of practicing various attitudes and character traits. What have we made permanent?

In the dojo, the student's character will eventually be revealed. If the student has been practicing integrity, that will shine. If he or she has been practicing respect, humility, and a teachable spirit, that student will be setting an example for other students in those areas. Unfortunately, some adult students have spent years practicing pride, arrogance, disprespect, and a lack of integrity. That eventually becomes glaringly obvious to us as instructors, and we are faced with the problem of having to deal with these issues.

Some instructors have told me that they no longer teach adults. They think the adults are past the point of being able to learn the "way of the warrior", to have their characters molded in a positive way. Others have told me they teach adults separately, and concentrate on techniques and fitness, rather than on the martial arts as a way of human growth and development.

I don't like to have such a hopeless view of adults. I think, with God's help, we can overcome years of bad practice and replace that with the practice of what is good. I think the martial arts, as I try to teach them, are a wonderful vehicle for change, growth, and empowerment.

I'm going to continue teaching adults. I'm going to continue to invest myself in them, to give them the same benefits of training that I've received, to pass on the lessons I've learned, to pour out my time and energy on them.

But, at the same time, I'm learning that I cannot allow adult students to disrupt the class, to endanger the safety of other students and instructors, to attempt to humiliate other students, to threaten students and instructors, to lose their tempers and stomp off the workout area, to push and shove the younger instructors, to lie to instructors, to insist on being able to determine their own rank in class, or to do any of the other outrageous things I've seen a few bad apples do over the years.

My commitment is to all of my students. In our classes, the adults are not any more important than the children. I have to do what is best for my classes as a whole, what is best for each student. Sometimes that may mean reminding a student what the martial arts are all about. Yes, there is contact. Yes, we grapple. Yes, we spar. Yes, we sweat. Yes, you have to learn kata. Yes, we have to say "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir". Yes, you will have to work. Yes, you will have to follow instructions. Yes, respect for upper belts is part of the martial arts. No, after six months of sporadic training, you are not an expert on the martial arts. Yes, there is a hierarchy in the martial arts. Ours is a lot less rigid than other dojos. But it does exist. Yes, you will have to treat your fellow students with courtesty and respect. Yes, we expect you to take other students' safety into consideration. If all of that impossible to accept, the martial arts---or at least as we understand them in our dojo---are probably not a good fit for you.

As adults, we are supposed to be the mature ones.

But, then again, practice makes permanent.